Some of you may have seen this, but I want to share. It is great.
From BangShift.com, BangShift.com Hilarious Craigslist Ad
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For sale: one early 80s Craftsman riding lawn mower with an 11 horse power engine and 30″ mowing deck. Bottom line, this beast is a sick ride! In fact, Id even say its the El Camino of yard whips. Just take a look at those sweet *** rims. So dope they look rented. #arethosedubs?
Wait, is that a chicken in the background? **** straight! Because the Craftsman riding lawn mower was considered the barnyard pimp of its day. Get yer yerrd on, fool!
Is it fast? Ever heard of old school 3 on the tree? Well, this whips got 8 on the hip. Thats right, 8 screamin gears of merciless speed! Need to mow that **** Richard petty style? No problem. Snappin necks and mowin decks, homie
Just look at this beast. It even has the original factory pin striping. This NASCAR style speed demon will look quick just sitting in your driveway. Neighbors be like SMH with envy. Dont dare put this baby in the shed. She deserves the garage. #nooneputsbabyinthecorner
Does it run, you ask? H*** YEAH! Like a pack of Kenyans on crystal meth! This bad boy just got a carburetor rebuild, new seals all the way around and a brand new battery installed. Turns over quicker than your prom date. And you dont even need to buy it wine coolers.
Dont get me started on the mowing deck! 30 full inches of precision slicin and dicin. Cuts better than Edward Scissor Hands and Lorena Bobbit in a knife fight. And this blade runner has 8 cutting heights! Go full Brazilian with a 1 inch cut, or bring your field of dreams up to 8 inches, 1970s style; your choice. All Im sayin is this mo-fo fades a lawn better than a set of hair clippers at Fantastic Sams. Whaaaa?
But can I mow with it at night, you ask? Who hasnt awoken at Odark:30 to mow their lawn black ops style? No problem with this night rider. It has a fully functioning head light, Michael. #Getyerdarkon
Pretty sure this man-ride is the luxury model. Its equipped with a plush pleather spring ride seat for those Brokeback yards, 10 inch Kung Fu grip steering wheel and rubberized foot pads. Aint no footloose goin on up in here. Safety first, homies!
You: So how much is this Kentucky bluegrass love machine?
Me: Just $500.°°.
You: Wait, what?
Me: Thats right, you heard me, only $500 greenbacks.
The world: How is that possible?
Me: my family and I have enjoyed using this cutting-deck of dope-ness since its immaculate inception back in the 80s. Can you say one owner? Yup!
Its time this black pearl set sail and find another crew to roll with. Its faded many lawns in its day and is looking for the greener grass on your side of the fence.
Dont wait to call or youll be tellin stories about the one that got away for the rest of your life, or call me now and become the lawn jockey you always dreamed to be.
No texts, please. I need to hear your voice and know that this family pet is going to a 100% full blooded american. #Merica
From BangShift.com, BangShift.com Hilarious Craigslist Ad
For sale: one early 80s Craftsman riding lawn mower with an 11 horse power engine and 30″ mowing deck. Bottom line, this beast is a sick ride! In fact, Id even say its the El Camino of yard whips. Just take a look at those sweet *** rims. So dope they look rented. #arethosedubs?
Wait, is that a chicken in the background? **** straight! Because the Craftsman riding lawn mower was considered the barnyard pimp of its day. Get yer yerrd on, fool!
Is it fast? Ever heard of old school 3 on the tree? Well, this whips got 8 on the hip. Thats right, 8 screamin gears of merciless speed! Need to mow that **** Richard petty style? No problem. Snappin necks and mowin decks, homie
Just look at this beast. It even has the original factory pin striping. This NASCAR style speed demon will look quick just sitting in your driveway. Neighbors be like SMH with envy. Dont dare put this baby in the shed. She deserves the garage. #nooneputsbabyinthecorner
Does it run, you ask? H*** YEAH! Like a pack of Kenyans on crystal meth! This bad boy just got a carburetor rebuild, new seals all the way around and a brand new battery installed. Turns over quicker than your prom date. And you dont even need to buy it wine coolers.
Dont get me started on the mowing deck! 30 full inches of precision slicin and dicin. Cuts better than Edward Scissor Hands and Lorena Bobbit in a knife fight. And this blade runner has 8 cutting heights! Go full Brazilian with a 1 inch cut, or bring your field of dreams up to 8 inches, 1970s style; your choice. All Im sayin is this mo-fo fades a lawn better than a set of hair clippers at Fantastic Sams. Whaaaa?
But can I mow with it at night, you ask? Who hasnt awoken at Odark:30 to mow their lawn black ops style? No problem with this night rider. It has a fully functioning head light, Michael. #Getyerdarkon
Pretty sure this man-ride is the luxury model. Its equipped with a plush pleather spring ride seat for those Brokeback yards, 10 inch Kung Fu grip steering wheel and rubberized foot pads. Aint no footloose goin on up in here. Safety first, homies!
You: So how much is this Kentucky bluegrass love machine?
Me: Just $500.°°.
You: Wait, what?
Me: Thats right, you heard me, only $500 greenbacks.
The world: How is that possible?
Me: my family and I have enjoyed using this cutting-deck of dope-ness since its immaculate inception back in the 80s. Can you say one owner? Yup!
Its time this black pearl set sail and find another crew to roll with. Its faded many lawns in its day and is looking for the greener grass on your side of the fence.
Dont wait to call or youll be tellin stories about the one that got away for the rest of your life, or call me now and become the lawn jockey you always dreamed to be.
No texts, please. I need to hear your voice and know that this family pet is going to a 100% full blooded american. #Merica